Why is this IELTS Essay Band 8 - 9? (Topic: Appearance)
- Fast Forward IELTS
- Jun 30
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 1
A high scoring IELTS essay on appearance
What allows a Writing Task 2 answer to reach the top bands in IELTS? Let’s look at a model answer to a question about appearance, and identify the ways it achieves high scores in the four IELTS marking criteria.
Task Achievement
Coherence and Cohesion
Lexical Resource
Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Some people believe that you should judge others on their appearance, while others think that appearance is not important.
What is your opinion?
Model Answer:
It is sometimes argued that appearance is very important and indicates if a person has a good or bad character. In my opinion, while the way a person dresses and takes care of his or her appearance are important in certain situations where it is necessary to make a good impression, in others, they shouldn't matter.
In some contexts, a good appearance does not particularly matter. If a person is with friends or relatives then it should not be important if he or she wears scruffy clothes or is not well-groomed. When you are with people who know you well, there is no need to impress anyone and you should not be judged on the image you present. Similarly, if you work in a job where it isn’t necessary to interact with customers, appearance is not so crucial, so for example, a computer programmer who works remotely, doesn’t have any pressing need to be clean-shaven or have a clean-cut look. Simply being tidy and clean is generally enough. However, of course, there are some situations where a good appearance is more important.
There are times when impressions count. This is often the case in professional situations. For instance, at a job interview, at a conference, or at any other work-related event where you are likely to meet customers or colleagues, smart clothes and a good appearance play an important role. They will show people that you are concerned with what they think of you and that therefore, you are the kind of person who will work hard to be useful and productive. In contrast, unkempt hair or messy clothing suggests a lack of respect for others, and may give the impression that you could be unhelpful and difficult to work with. Naturally, this could have a detrimental effect on your business or career.
In conclusion, having a good appearance matters if you want to show people who don’t know you that you are a serious and conscientious person. If, on the other hand, you’re with people who already understand your character, looking good is not an important consideration.
TASK ACHIEVEMENT:
1. Shows a clear and consistent view/ position in the introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion.
The writer’s position is clearly stated in the introduction’s thesis statement, the body paragraph topic sentences and in the conclusion.
Introduction Thesis Statement: In my opinion, while the way a person dresses and takes care of his or her appearance are important in certain situations where it is necessary to make a good impression, in others, they shouldn't matter.
Topic Sentence 1: In some contexts, a good appearance does not particularly matter.
Topic Sentence 2: There are times when impressions count.
Conclusion: having a good appearance matters if you want to show people who don’t know you that you are a serious and conscientious person. If, on the other hand, you’re with people who already understand your character, looking good is not an important consideration.
2. Supports main ideas with details and examples
The model answer explains two situations where a good appearance does not matter, and provides an example.
In some contexts, a good appearance does not particularly matter. If a person is with friends or relatives then it should not be important if he or she wears scruffy clothes or is not well-groomed. When you are with people who know you well, there is no need to impress anyone and you should not be judged on the image you present. Similarly, if you work in a job where it isn’t necessary to interact with customers, appearance is not so crucial, so for example, a computer programmer who works remotely, doesn’t have any pressing need to be clean-shaven or have a clean-cut look. Simply being tidy and clean is generally enough. However, of course, there are some situations where a good appearance is more important.
COHERENCE & COHESION:
1. Clear paragraphing
The model answer contains an introduction paragraph, 2 body paragraphs and a conclusion paragraph. The essay should have a minimum of 4 paragraphs.
INTRODUCTION
BODY PARAGRAPH 1
BODY PARAGRAPH 2
CONCLUSION
2. Develops one main idea in each body paragraph
The model answer develops one main idea in each body paragraph. Each main idea is developed with two sub-ideas which explain the main idea in more detail.
Main Idea 1: In some situations a good appearance is not important.
Sub-idea A: We don’t need a good appearance when with family and close friends.
Sub-idea B: Some jobs, especially remote jobs, don’t require a good appearance.
Main Idea 2: Some professional situations require a good appearance.
Sub-idea A: A good appearance is needed to show that you are serious and hard-working.
Sub-idea B: A scruffy appearance suggests you are not good to work with.
3. Uses Cohesive Devices (Linkers & Referencing)
The model answer uses linking adverbs to show connections between ideas. It also refers back to previous ideas using ‘this’ (for situations) and multiple nouns using ‘they’.
Linking adverbs used: however, so, therefore, in contrast, similarly
Referencing used: this, they
LEXICAL RESOURCE:
1. Contains topic specific vocabulary (a lot of it)
The model answer contains a lot of topic specific vocabulary. This vocabulary does not need to be ‘advanced’, but should be directly connected to the topic.
appearance
clean-cut
clean-shaven
clothes
clothing
hair
image
impression
look
messy
scruffy
smart
tidy
unkempt
well-groomed
2. Contains good collocations
Good collocations are groups of words that commonly combine in English. Using good collocations is a part of advanced writing. This model answer includes several natural collocations.
clean-cut look
detrimental effect
give the impression
have a pressing need
important consideration
impressions count
lack of respect
looking good
play an important role
present an image
take care of your appearance
work remotely
work-related event
3. Uses advanced vocabulary appropriately
The model uses a range of more advanced vocabulary (B2 - C2) that fits well into the context in which it is used.
clean-cut
clean-shaven
concerned
conscientious
detrimental
impress
indicate
judge
productive
scruffy
unkempt
GRAMMATICAL RANGE & ACCURACY:
The model answer scores highly for grammatical range and accuracy because it includes a large number of compound and complex sentences, and there are no grammatical mistakes. To score in the top IELTS bands, the majority of sentences should be complex sentences that are error free.
This essay creates complex sentences in 3 ways:
1. Conditional sentences using ‘if’ or 'when’
Essay Examples:
if you work in a job where it isn’t necessary to interact with customers, appearance is not so crucial
having a good appearance matters if you want to show people who don’t know you that you are a serious and conscientious person
2. Using a linking word
Essay Example:
while the way a person dresses and takes care of his or her appearance are important in certain situations, in others, they shouldn't matter
3. Relative clauses
Essay Examples:
you are the kind of person who will work hard to be useful and productive
If you work in a job where it isn’t necessary to interact with customers…
TAKEAWAY TIPS:
The essay will reach the top bands in IELTS because of the following strengths:
Clearly & consistently shows the writer’s view/ position
Uses linking words and referencing effectively
Uses a wide range of topic specific vocabulary and good collocations
Forms a variety of complex sentences
Avoids errors in grammar
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